Mini-Series: Relationship Building And Influence In-Person And Remotely

Reading time: 4 minutes

It’s Part 3 of our Excel guide to 2022 mastery… and it is time for you to develop a superpower!

Superman can fly, Catwoman has incredible speed and agility, Antman can… turn himself into an ant? All of these will pale into insignificance to yours, as you will possess the power of influence!

Why is that better than flying or super speed though?

Well, because it will give you the ability to effectively communicate, build rapport and influence anyone that you engage with, meaning that you can build relationships with people that are more productive and meaningful.

You will possess the knowledge that will allow you to identify another person’s behavioural and communication preferences with great accuracy; giving you the ability to flex your versatility muscles, to better match their style.

One important thing to remember is that whoever told you that you should “speak to people in the way that you would want to be spoken to”… was telling you a ginormous lie. You should speak to people the way they want to be spoken to.

Of course, there are many brilliant tools out there to support you with identifying people’s communicative preferences. We will not be discussing the difference between all of them here. One of the key reasons we have picked this model here is because it is focused on behaviours, and things that can be identified early on when meeting people.

Introduction Into Styles

So, what are the four top-level behavioural styles that you will be looking to identify when talking with someone, and what are the indicators for each?

Well let’s start (rather appropriately) with the Red style.

You will notice that these people are incredibly focused on the task at hand, and their success and efficiency in completing it. This means that in terms of interaction, their preference is brief, direct, and top-level.

When it comes to discussing ideas with the Red style, it is best to deliver top line facts, and relate them to achieving results. When it comes to decision making, the Red style will also appreciate fewer options and the opportunity to make a quick rational choice.

In terms of motivation, people who are Yellow can be wildly different, whilst the task remains fairly important, their priority can often be the opportunity to build relationships. That’s how they get the task done, through relationship building.

They can be incredibly energetic and talkative, and whilst the Red style is likely to make their choices based on the logic and evidence available to them, a person who is Yellow is likely to be led more by their emotions and their feelings towards each possibility. However similar to the Red style, their preference is not in detailed information.

When you listen to someone who is Yellow, they will often link the topic of a discussion back to themselves and their agenda.

Another style which is people-focused is the Green style. Their focus however will be aimed more towards other people and their satisfaction, rather than their own.

Their energy is likely to be noticeably lower than the Yellow, their speech will also be softer and less emphatic. They will have a friendly and easy-going demeanour and their prioritising of others make them great team workers. When it comes to decision making, they are motivated by detailed opinions and the impact on the world beyond themselves. Time is also a crucial factor, as they appreciate the opportunity to weigh up and consider.

Now you have all that information on those three styles, let’s round off with the Blue style (appropriately again).

As the name suggests, these people love detail. They are, like the Red style, focused on the task, however one significant difference is that they prefer to know all available information before making an accurate and logical decision. They are also more likely to ask questions to expose further information and uncover more detail.

When making choices, they also have a preference to explore one option at a time, rather than being burdened with several alternatives.

For more specific examples of each colour and examples of communication approaches for each, download our 2022 Handbook below, incorporating this and all content from our 4 part mini-series.

Using Your Knowledge Of Styles To Build Influence

This is one of the many reasons why we love to learn… that feeling of sheer excitement that comes from preparing to implement something new to your everyday life. You got this new knowledge… now it is time to use it and discover the benefits of the time you’ve invested to learning it!

So, get out and socialise! (Safely of course). Get talking, but even more importantly, get listening!

Practise makes perfect when it comes to identifying the behavioural styles of others, so whether you are in person, or on Zoom calls… always be prepared to unleash your newly established inner Behavioural Styles Sherlock.

Some people can be harder to identify than others, however, I can tell you from experience that when you get someone spot on, and you purposefully flex your style to speak to their preferences, you will feel how right you are in so many ways.

Your ability to be versatile will take your social game into an entirely different league. Your rapport building will be off the charts, your productivity in conversation will be the target of incredible amounts of envy, and your ability to influence will become legendary.

That is because your behavioural versatility correlates directly with how influential you are. Why though? Well, I’m glad you asked.

You are, as we said in the introduction, speaking to people in the way they want to be spoken to. You are building connections that are meaningful!

Unlike a clown, squirting people with a fake flower at a funeral, you know that what you are doing will fit with your audience.

You are picking your words carefully and delivering them in a way that is perfect for the recipient, meaning that momentum grows in every aspect of an interaction that you would want to be successful, with no stop/start style discrepancies in the way.

Also, due to the attention you are paying to others in spotting and mirroring their style, you will build a reputation as someone who really listens and is totally present.

Feeling heard and understood is all kinds of satisfying. However, when you then double that with meaningful relationship building and conversation then my oh my… we are cooking!

See you then!

Alex & The Excel Team

P.S. If you would like to discuss any of your learning & development challenges for 2022, call us on +44(0) 1628488 854. 

About Excel Communications     

Excel Communications is a learning and development consultancy based near London in the U.K. For more than 30 years; we have been collaborating with clients across the globe. Partnering with Excel empowers you to evolve your people and business by fuelling a love for learning. We work with you to create unforgettably, customised learning experiences to achieve your vision of success and growth, with tangible results. View our case studies here.  We have a team of expert trainers delivering programmes across five continents in multiple languages. Call us now on +44 (0) 1628 488 854.   

Important   

If you would like to watch our leadership masterclass recordings, you can access the latest leadership complimentary guide here.