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What do Friends, The Sopranos and the Excel 2022 Success Blogging Mini-Series all have in common?

They all have fantastic finales. This right here is the final curtain of the latter!

However, whilst the final instalments of the others I mentioned may work in influencing you to go right back to the beginning and watch them all over again…

This finale will be your guide to influencing the world around you for the sake of your growth.

Whilst these may be the final words in this collection of blogs, this is merely just the foreword for all the chapters of achievements and success that you will write for yourself in the next twelve months and beyond.

You can rely on us to be there with you during this too.

As I mentioned right at the start of this series, this is only the beginning of a huge year of personal development, information and advice over here on the Excel blog!

Every article written with the same purpose: to give you all you need to learn, grow, and succeed.

As you are here already, it’s clear that you are deeply invested in your personal growth. Which is fantastic!

So be sure to download the complete ‘Excel Handbook of Your 2022 Success’ at the end of this blog and in turn, join our mailing list, so that you can receive all this valuable content straight into your inbox. Whilst I will thank you for doing this with huge amounts of gratitude, your future self will too.

So, getting back to today’s blog from that very important tangent…

Last week, we focused on identifying people’s social preferences and being versatile in conversation to establish influence.

However today, we will be pressing forward onto tips that will build your influence onto levels that you have never felt before, especially when paired with your social flexing. This can all be used to supplement the speed and quality of your growth.

Excited? Let’s go!

Understand Your Audience And Flex – Mirroring

A large portion of building deep, productive relationships comes down to

If you are truly listening to what another person has to say and how they are saying it, the accuracy to which you flex your style will be greater and therefore the impact that has on your level of influence will be huge.

However, are you flexing visually as well as socially?

If someone’s body language is not in tune with yours when in an interaction, you may make several assumptions about why this could be. None of them being positive.

Are they disinterested? Distracted? Uncomfortable? You’re subliminally focussing some of your attention on reading what they could be doing rather than listening fully.

However, if someone is mirroring you during conversation, then you are likely to feel much more of a connection.

This does not mean that they are literally mirroring your every move, that would be incredibly irritating. It could mean something as simple as being sat down face to face and them leaning back because you are.

When in flow with someone and you are mirroring each other naturally, it will be clear that they are engaged and listening to what you say by how they respond.

Influence established.

How Are You Making Others Feel?

Maya Angelou famously said “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

So far we have discussed the importance of what you say and how you approach it, but even more crucial to your long-term influence is the feeling that you give to others.

People like people who make them feel good, valued, and understood.

You may be preparing for how you can adjust your approach for a specific person and their social preference, however one dial you should never touch and turn is the kindness you give.

Praise. Don’t Criticise

Would you purposefully approach someone that you knew would knock you down at any opportunity?

No, unless you are a glutton for punishment.

If you are a person who builds people up and reminds them of the good that they do… you will be magnetic.

Whenever you feel the need to criticise, think about the person receiving it and how you could repurpose it.

Developmental feedback is a much better approach when guiding people towards making a change, it will also mean that they will value you for supporting them to achieve more.

We actually have a whole blog about it here – Why Does Giving Developmental Feedback Feel So Difficult.

The influence you have on them will grow as they see the value you give to them.

Encourage Input

How good does it feel when someone asks for your opinion?

I always find that it makes me feel some kind of privilege. An honour that they came to me, to know what I think.

This means that the person asking me rises even higher in my estimations. They value my thoughts, and therefore, I make it mutual.

You know that what you say may influence their actions, but also in turn, you will feel stronger towards them as they have purposefully sought for the value you have.

Find Commonalities And Use Them To Get To Conclusions

This next piece of advice sounds like it has been ripped clean from a dating blog, for when you are heading out on a first date.

It is important to find common ground.

Now I know we are not talking about romance here, however with influence, it surprisingly works in a similar way.

We tend to like people who have similar thoughts and opinions on subjects that we do. I know a lot of people believe in that adage of ‘opposites attract’, and for sure, they can be exciting to explore.

However, when we are looking to influence others, we are much better served by using all that we agree on to reach conclusions that we desire.

The final piece of the handbook available below will give you ‘Your Influence Action Plan’.

We are aware that in this blog and the previous one, that you have been given a whole load of actionable influencing advice, so this part of the handbook is designed for you to work out what pieces will be most impactful for each individual you are interacting with.

Download it below!

See you then!

Alex & The Excel Team






P.S. If you would like to discuss any of your learning & development challenges for 2022, call us on +44(0) 1628488 854. 

About Excel Communications     

Excel Communications is a learning and development consultancy based near London in the U.K. For more than 30 years; we have been collaborating with clients across the globe. Partnering with Excel empowers you to evolve your people and business by fuelling a love for learning. We work with you to create unforgettably, customised learning experiences to achieve your vision of success and growth, with tangible results. View our case studies here.  We have a team of expert trainers delivering programmes across five continents in multiple languages. Call us now on +44 (0) 1628 488 854.   


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